Lord of the flies

At work we have two large doors, like garage doors. We slide them open to let sunlight and fresh air in. It’s another thing to be thankful for.

Burning silicone smells like dead fish, and the stench that can be generated by seven men working in one place is enough reason to be thankful for the fresh air. And there’s something about the sun illuminating the path before you, and a cool breeze on your back, to make you feel like a kid again: carelessly enjoying the play God has created you for.

Moments later I look over at one of my co-workers spinning around like my son discovering the wonder of dizzy. This is not because he is enjoying his time. Rather, little specks of darkness have floated in with the light, sunny breeze. I would laugh at my round, fuzzy, frustrated friend, but all the while I am smacking my wrist, swinging at the air in front of me, and attempting a 180-degree elbow-punch hoping to send one of twenty different flies to its grave.

As I go back to my work with one eye on the fly to my right and my heal kicking back into the air hoping it will somehow let the flies on my calf know that, “This is your last warning, damn it!” I begin to wonder why God has created flies. They annoy everyone. But they don’t annoy God. He created them and called them good. I imagine from God’s perspective, watching us bat at the air with unheard of karate moves is paralleled with the humor of watching Napoleon Dynamite’s Kip learn Rex-Kwon-Do.

I am reminded that God is hilarious. He has the greatest sense of humor. It must make him laugh watching the pinnacle of His creation get in touch with the lower parts and become more like Him.

After a long week of work (and according to my calculations) the most fly kills at MEI (that’s where I work), I am ready for the Sabbath. As I sit, stand, stand and sit to hear the Word, pray the Word, sing the Word, and eat the Word, I am ushered into the presence of the living God with His angels and saints before Him doing what we have been created and redeemed to do: worship the Triune God. While I am basking in the glory of it all, my one-year-old son sleeps across my lap, but his sleep is haunted by the presence of nothing else but a plump, juicy fly who’s decided to use my son’s forehead as a launching pad. My arms are pinned by all 22 pounds of my son, but with my fingers I do my best to swipe them away. Soon after I notice one come back with two others to puke upon my head and pant leg! At this point I had to free one of my arms out from under my son’s little head. “It’s on, you bastards!” I start swinging, with my one free hand while mindful of the reverent worshipers behind me and my sleeping son upon me. While I was swatting the flies away from me I began to notice the young lady to my left and I were playing ping-pong with 3 or 4 flies. I stopped and put my arm-like pillow back under my son’s head figuring the flies are there because of my aroma and not the women’s.

As I begin to feel better because of the self-sacrificial act I committed I noticed that two flies had conjugated on the top of my knee so close that the four little feelers before them were swapping spit as I was attempting to sing the 34th Psalm.

Instead of thinking about the application of imprecatory prayers (believe me that would come later) I was asking myself, “Why is God making me go through this right now?” As I stand in His presence in the Holy of Holies I’m swatting flies, and missing.

Then I was reminded that a table was set before me and a meal was about to be served. Flies love our food and this day was no exception. The meal I was about to eat with all the other saints around the world had flies wanting to get a piece of the action as well. This meal is like no other meal. As long as we eat it we confess the Lord’s death until he comes.

I was also reminded that flies love sweat and blood. Christ could have killed all the flies that landed upon him while on the cross but that means he would’ve had to come down. With that in mind I thanked God for the Great High Priest before Him, who is able to sympathize with all my trials and temptations, even flies.