Friday, August 18, 2006

Oh, the sacrifices of being a paper boy!

I awoke this day, like the past fifteen or so, confounded by the sheer ridiculousness of getting up at 2:50 am to deliver newspapers in Pullman. Early on I was driven by nerves and adrenaline from the newness and challenge of my "new life" in Moscow. But now I'm not quite sure what is driving me to this madness. Once I get myself out the door and into the car I begin to drink one of those energy drinks you see in gas station markets that you promise yourself you would never drink unless you had to get up at 2:50 in the morning, this one happens to be called "RockStar" (another reason never to buy one).
For the first week or so I listened to the most modern/contemporary pop-rock station on the dial. I found that the shallow upbeat music went well with the mindless task of hurrying through the neighborhood delivering papers. I had a few profound thoughts about the music like, "who listens to this crap", and "this is the epitome of life without the walls of God's Covenant." Once I began to realize my mind going to mush from all the teeny-bopping I could handle, I have switched back to something a little more sophisticated. Too bad all the classical music is on NPR, are there any good Christian stations out there?
My mind races from thoughts about God's beautiful creation in the solitude of the early morning, to why I'm up before three.
The last couple of days I have found myself reciting in my mind, "don't worry little trooper it will get better, this will not last forever." Yet, ultimatley this reminds me of one of my greatest weaknesses. I keep thinking I have grown out of this, but I find myself still struggling with always wanting it to be easy, comfortable, painless, fun, etc. And God continues to teach me that this is not the way its going to be. I was just reminded recently that Christ did not die so that we may live, but rather that He died so that we may die.
The path that leads to life is getting up at 2:50 in the morning, coming home and going to your second job for another eight hours, and then coming home to the ones you do it all for and rejoicing with them over a meal for another long and beautiful day that the Lord has made.

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